Maintenance
Right, a few things:
1) Felicity asked how big the proposal billboard really is. Since Felicity is very nice indeed and she sent me info about an Elf-Along they had in Boston over Christmas, then Felicity gets her wish.
This is Nora sitting in front of it on Christmas Day.
Nick was too mesmerized by the lights to move.
2) If the weather holds (so far it’s not looking so good) then I’m off to a meeting tomorrow. I have also pinched a nerve in my neck, so I’m walking like Igor. So if you see a woman wandering around tomorrow looking like her ear is sewn to her shoulder, then why yes you can carry her bookbag, thanks.
3) Still waiting for my Something Cool item to transpire. If/when it does, I’ll mention it (I’m still moderately concerned I’m being done. I’m very gullible like that). But seeing as we only had post deliveries twice last week (and don’t get me started about the bin men – if they don’t come soon my OCD is going to go into overdrive), it’s too early to tell.
4) The something bad has transpired. It’s no secret that I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). When I was first diagnosed years ago, I was told I would almost certainly develop complications. Two of those complications have come to pass, instigated by EDS and kicked off by the cold. Last week my GP confirmed that I have Raynaud’s Disease. It’s ok, it’s mildly annoying but there’s fuck-all you can do about it apart from suck it up and disgust people with the white, unfeeling fingers. Brilliant. But I was also diagnosed with early onset osteoarthritis. It’s not too much of a surprise, I was told I would almost certainly develop arthritis and develop it early in life, what I’m surprised about is that I developed it quite so soon.
Oh yeah – and I also get to have a hysteroscopy (not from a joint doctor though. That’s a step too far for all of us.) It turns out my parts aren’t working right, and after all I have 196 tampons to use. They’re going to determine if my issue is gynaecological or hormonal, which if the problem is hormonal then my GP said I’d go on HRT.
“HRT?” I asked. “Hormone replacement therapy?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “We’d probably put you on the Pill.”
Oh, the irony.
5) speaking of ironic fertility, about those socks…
We had a few ladies nominated for the lucky socks (there are two pairs at play here) from this post. I also got an email from a lovely commenter named Melody, who does blog but her blog is friends and family only and so she doesn’t blog about her IVF treatment. She sent me what I can only describe as an utterly charming email that made me want to adopt her, which I’m copy and pasting below, with some changes to protect her identity.
I’ll be on my 4th IVF cycle this January, and I’d love some mojo, so I’m putting my name into the hat for the chance to be a Lucky Sock Lendee. I have short toenails, I use Tide detergent – the vanilla lavender scented kind when I can get it – and regularly use fabric softener. I live in Minnesota, which is freezing cold and as dry as the desert during winter. I say this because I’m pretty sure if you send the socks to someone in a warmer climate, they will sweat all over the socks – I’m just saying. I am also proficient in darning, should there ever be a sock-related emergency.
As for whether I and my husband are deserving of children – well, is anyone? They seem to be a gift given or withheld on a whim, like falling in love or being able to fall asleep. Instead of trying to convince you that we deserve children (and imparting loads of guilt, as only a Scandinavian can), I’ll just give you a little info about us: I’m Melody (patient, calm and strategic) and I live in Minnesota with my insanely adoring husband Stephano (genius, passionate and respectful). He’s originally from Greece and I have spent my entire life here. We met late in life, marrying when I was 34 and he was 42. Now I’m 37 and he’s 44. This might be our last try for IVF (fresh cycles anyway – we’ll probably try to transfer whichever embryos we can freeze in the next year) – we’re getting up there and the chances of DS are starting to scare us. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and produce many eggs (28 last time) and Stephano has motility issues (and I found you through googling those two issues together!). We’ve had good luck with the eggs fertilizing when ICSI is used, but we have yet for anything to implant and grow successfully. In the end, we’ll accept the answer that life gives us – yes or no – and do our best to choose to live a happy life together. Still, wouldn’t it be nice…
The five other ladies all have public blogs and I absolutely encourage you to visit them. Katie at The Happy Hours, Kymberli at I’m a Smart One, The Sassy Infertile Lady, Sam at Communique, and Elm City Mom.
So there you have it. You readers get to choose who the lucky socks get to go to, as per the poll here (which I’ll leave open for a few days.)
6) I’m leaning towards almost certainly committing to trying to go to BlogHer. I realize the wishy-washy nature of that statement is appalling. I would book it and my air fare today, but money this month is a bit short. Additionally, I have another issue at play – I’m worried I’m too much of a dork to fit in. No really, hear me out here – I’m fairly socially inept. Add in a rather paralyzing fear I have about being Billy-No-Mates in the corner, and I have a terrifying scenario playing in my mind. It goes thus:
I show up.
No one has ever heard of my blog, ever.
When I tell them of it they look it up and laugh, telling me I am a gross abhorrence to modern day blogging (which they will word as “Your blog is shit”, since no one says “you’re a gross abhorrence to modern day blogging”).
Once the laughing-that-turned-to-watery-eyed-hyena-laughing ends, they tell me to fox trot oscar.
Lather, rinse, repeat, until I am a sobbering and gibbering alcoholic mess in my hotel room, vowing not to leave my room until I’m 100% sure I can no longer hear the other women in their rooms, undoubtedly having pillow fights and doing each others’ nails, since isn’t that what we ladies are supposed to do?
Oh yeah. I’m doing well, thanks.
-S.
IdiotboxMy beloved cat Zoi and I carefully perused the choiceswhile she busied herself destroying another feather toytogether and made our vote…but seriously, lots of luck to all. Zoi has kindly offered them each a kitten to pass the time.I also submit my vote for BlogHer, largely because it would be very cool to meet you, and I’ll be (hopefully) settled in NY by then.
You should go to BlogHer wearing sunglasses, a leopard head scarf, and have your collar up. Carry a cigarette in a long holder, martini in the other hand, wear gloves and dark red lipstick, and maybe even a cape. Don’t tell anyone who you are, but bring a wing-woman who will pull random strangers aside, point at you, and excitedly whisper “Isn’t that everydaystranger? OMG – this is the first time she’s been seen in public in years!”
So, you want to be liked and you’re afraid that something very personal that you’re proud of (and rightfully so) might not be appreciated in a greater context. Does the big fish in a little pond dare to test themselves in the big pond or be content with their current environment and rate of progress? That is an emotional risk. Still, getting past the fears that constrain you is a wonderfully freeing thing, if you’re ready for it. Plus, it’s not like We The Readers will slink away in embarrassment if you aren’t lauded by a bunch of people we don’t know – that’s not why we started reading you, and that’s not why we like you.
P.S. Thanks for the feature! Good luck to all on the baby cultivation!
I agree with Melody. You could be the Lemony Snicket of the BlogHer world…. Pass out business cards with shadowy outlines of your figure while wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora.
I swear to god if you go to BlogHer I will stalk you. You have been warned.
My dad has Raynaund’s-he has for the last 20 some years. Are they giving you something for it? I have knitted my dad countless wool mittens and gloves. I shall add you to the list. The arthritis upsets me. Take care of you, OK?
Ironically, I’m on the Pill for HRT. I started to take it a little over 7 years ago, a few weeks after Adam had his vasectomy. Yeah.
I’m working on considering trying to persuade John to attempt to consider letting me go…The want, she is very strong. The bank balance, he is very weak.
I have to blow your socially-inept self-belief out of the water, though.
You rock the party, sweetheart.
Oh, damn, all parts all falling A-part in synch? Bloody universe. Has no sense of proportion.
I can assure you, if you go to BlogHer, you will leave a trail of stunned, adoring brand-new fans wherever you go. And I LOVE Melody’s plan. Do Melody’s plan. Post photos afterwards.
And bestest of luck with Cool Thing and the new job and the Health.
“Lather, rinse, repeat, until I am a sobbering and gibbering alcoholic mess in my hotel room, vowing not to leave my room until I’m 100% sure I can no longer hear the other women in their rooms, undoubtedly having pillow fights and doing each others’ nails, since isn’t that what we ladies are supposed to do?”
This made me (and my husband when I read it out loud to him) LOL.
Since last year we made blog bling for attendees that said “I’ll be hiding in a corner at BlogHer!“, you’re definitely not alone in your Billy-no-mates fantasy!
I look forward to meeting you :)
Heh, I’ve been told to go on the pill to sort out my psychoesque periods. However, on the pill I am likely to kill my family. No pill for me. EDS. Yay. You know how I feel about that right? A cure would be lovely. I can’t get my doctors to investigate anything as everything is ‘just the EDS’. I could have a broken collarbone or rib, but it would be just the EDS. I’m a little bitter at the moment.
I’ll give you this much – your writings (and style) are far superior to mine. And that’s even allowing for the fact that there are a select few entries of mine that I’m secretly proud of. And I do look to your style as an example to mine. So anyone that may part with the thought that your blog is shit (which I don’t think will happen) can go FOAD.
Though, truth be told, it really isn’t criticism we all fear. It’s indifference. Not that people will tell us that what we write is shit (because they’re at least reading us!) but they will give a blank stare or a shoulder shrug after reading. Or they will get past one sentence and move on. That the only comments we’ll get is those stupid “nice post” comments that the spammers love to drop like mouse turds.
Oh, and just to show you that I actually paid attention to this post rather than ramble on about myself, I’ll tell you that the proposal sign is priceless. As well as the little darling sitting in front of it (and the other little darling not present).
As far as I can tell (based on the blogs I read), everyone who goes to BlogHer has social anxiety. Apparently, everyone’s in the bathroom popping Xanax or hiding in their room. I wonder how any of the presentations get attendance. So, while you might go there feeling awkward, you ought to be able to leave feeling like you’re leaving family. :)
Sorry about the Raynaud’s and arthritis. That sucks. I wish there were some sort of effective treatment.
I hope the Something Cool comes through directly, and that your neck releases enough to allow you to carry Giant Work Laptop comfortably-ish.
Criminy, _I’d_ go to BlogHer just to actually meet you.
thanks again for nominating me along with all of these well deserving women. its an honor! I can’t compete with Melody- she is quite charming :) it feels good to be recognized though.
you rock!
xo
I vote for Melody and if you choose her, please ask if she’ll send me her mailing address and I’ll send her a tube of Pre~Seed, the only intimate moisturizer approved by the FDA to assist with sperm motility during IVF procedures! I’m their webmaster, and cannot guarantee anything with this product, but it sure has helped a number of women conceive: http://www.preseed.com/stories/
Tammom – thanks so much for thinking of me. I do have some Pre~Seed (travel packets because the tubes were sold out – it must be that good!), but I had no idea they could also use it for IVF procedures. How interesting! I’ll talk with my MD.
Thank you so much!! I’m with Nick in being mesmerised by those lights – they didn’t happen to flash on and off did they? (Question being asked by someone who took down her Christmas tree this weekend, but left the blinking lights that were on the tree draped around the room…)
BlogHer – pfft – we, and I’m pretty sure I can speak for your other readers here, could create a viral marketing campaign that will have them begging, nay, pleading that you might show yourself!
I’d come over to the East Coast and take care of Nick and Nora while you’re painting toenails and having pillow fights if you want.
Hang in there through this snow – life in SF right now is bright blue skies and high 50 degrees – plus we have Target! Still think I’m nice?
Arthritis is a touchy subject for me and my first instinct is to run away and come back another day. I’d hate to fuel the unloved/unread anxiety though so I’ll say something rather than saying nothing.
How would we go about making more lucky socks? Could the recipient maybe wear them over another pair and then hopefully this will generate an additional pair of lucky socks for the future.
Melody: If your MD isn’t up-to-date on the latest information about Pre~Seed and it’s benefits, they can read the technical information found here: http://preseed.com/TheCompany/Regulatory_Status.php
Oh, stop it. The ladies at BlogHer are perfectly lovely and you’ll be fine. Even when no one knew who I was (or my blog) they were still friendly and caring and sweet. I made lots of friends through the conference and that’s the only reason a small handful of people know about my blog.
If I manage to get it in the budget and make it there, you’ll have a friend who knows who you are and can introduce you around so you’re not hiding in a corner. It really is a lot of fun & I am sincerely hoping I can save up the money to go. Roommates certainly help in affording the hotel expenses. As the time gets closer, people will start setting that stuff up.
Really, it’ll be a great time. I’m sure of it. Always has been for me & I am socially awkward too. Still managed to make friends. :)
“I can’t get my doctors to investigate anything as everything is ‘just the EDS’. I could have a broken collarbone or rib, but it would be just the EDS.”
That’s just wrong. Any ability to change your doctor? A reputable one should be willing to investigate, even if it IS “just” the EDS, because with syndromes come complications and weird side things that should be tracked. My father-in-law eventually died from asthma-related causes, which over the twenty YEARS of his physical decline included cracked vertebrae, diabetic sores, and whatnot— things that were tangentially caused by his asthma but more because of SIDE EFFECTS.
(I also have a friend who managed to get both hyper- AND hypo-thyroid, something the doctors didn’t think was possible. So anyone who dismisses symptoms as just a part of a syndrome you have should be smacked upside the head with a dictionary of outlier cases.)
Hello!
Lovely, lovely lights (and, of course, lovely Nora). Oddly, I have Raynaud’s as well, so drop me a note if you want me to share what little I know. I have some dork-tastic battery operated gloves that my dad sent me, which I can pass on to you…but I’d rather have these – http://gizmodo.com/163687/usb-heating-gloves
I think I’ll pass on the “slanket” tho….
I’m with you on #6. From what I understand if you don’t have a circle (read clique) of blog friends you may not have a good time… since I lack that whats the point? But then again if it sucked all the renegade bloggers could get typsy and explore NY.
I think you can rock that fedora and cape and log cigarette holder!! And surely there’s no one in blogging that hasn’t heard of you!
What, we can’t vote for all of them? What kind of poll is this? Huh??
[...] passed along. Because there really can never be enough luck floating around. And so, the people voted, and Lani was one of the winners, along with another fine lady, [...]