Everydaystranger

You all rock for the Around the World in 80 Blogs and I am going to read (and pimp) each and every person who signs up. More details to come but what about we try to post on, say, Monday the 14th of December? That works?

Tomorrow in my former home country of America, it is Thanksgiving.

Here it is a glorious and amazing day known as Thursday. It will be followed by Friday. Then Saturday. Then…well, maybe you’ve cottoned on.

Friday the 27th marks the 10 year anniversary of the day I boarded a flight to Stockholm from Raleigh-Durham airport in North Carolina and made my residency in the EU.

I realized the other day that Maggie is creeping up on 10 years old now. She is the oldest pet that I have ever owned as an adult. I love my pets fiercely but they just don’t seem to live long. I also realized that this house, the one I am in now, is the one I have lived in for the longest as well. I am heading on 4 years in this house and as a military child and a nomadic adult, this is also a record.

My relationship with Alastair is also my longest running romantic relationship in my life.

A lot has happened. Who we were as a couple is gone and gone forever as are, actually, who Shannon was and who Alastair was and everyone involved agrees that’s absolutely for the best. But we spent almost the entire month of October talking and talking and talking. I’ve never cried or been so angry in my life, and apparently this is a good thing. Out of respect for his privacy and the privacy of our relationship, I won’t be blogging about the details of what has transpired. There has to be a boundary for things in my previously boundary-less life. This is one new boundary. I have many new boundaries. My Couch Man has been trying to get me to have boundaries and I never understood that until now.

At Thanksgiving every year I would hold a great big bash full of food and booze and friends and laughter. This year, Thanksgiving will pass by unnoticed. I have a ticket to a show tomorrow and will go and see it and try to relax. Every year on Thanksgiving I and all of my friends would go around the table and list things we were grateful for that year. Although my table is empty, Tom the Turkey keeps his head on and his ass un-stuffed, and no Black Friday will occur, I can say the following:

I am thankful for my Lemonheads.
I am thankful for my friends, who have been listening to me and not judging me.
I am thankful for Gorby and Maggie and Mac.
I am thankful for everyone who comments, emails, and reads.
I am thankful for my job and for this house.
I am thankful for therapy – the couples therapy that we are going through and the help that both Alastair and I are getting.
I am thankful for Alastair, who has become a friend and equal partner.

We are trying therapy and working towards putting how we used to be behind us. It may or may not work and we accept that and the consequences that implies. There are some big things to be dealt with. Walking away would be easier. But we have many years behind us, a house, a dog, two cats, and most importantly four children that need us. We owe them this chance, just as we owe it to ourselves. Solicitors and estate agents have been stood down.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

I’m going away for a few days to a small cottage in a bleak and remote part of Wales, with a dog, two bouncy toddlers, and the man who has instituted bedtime reading to babies.

Happy Thanksgiving from me and my Lemonheads.

-S.