Passing on the Pain
It’s innocent. It always, always starts off innocently, often in those vulnerable hours when you are asleep. You are going about your business. You are doing what has to be done in the dark despair that may be your life. You are suffering. You don’t know what to do, so you pass on your pain because you need someone to help carry the burden, you can’t do it alone.
I am stuck on Band-Aid brand ’cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me…
That’s right.
You wake up with a fucking jingle in your head.
And it’s not just a jingle. Oh no. It’s one from your childhood. One that you possibly no longer have access to, especially if you’re living in a foreign country and they call them plasters, not Band-Aids (as a non sequitur, isn’t calling them Band-Aids like calling all fizzy drinks Coke and all copy machines Xerox? I’m just saying.)
The jingle beats the last week in which I’ve woken up with Girls Aloud’s “Promise” song in my head, which is enough to make anyone go into a killing rage.
I love jingles. Seriously, if there was ever a child (apart from Frank Cross) whose entire early state of being was driven by TV, it’s me. I’m your girl. I wanted to be Laura Ingalls (even if her sister Mary kinda’ creeped me out and Nelly? Hello, stereotype? She was just waiting to be tied down to train ties by Dirk Dastardly, man.) I loved TV as a kid and still love it today. I maintain that people who say they are zen and thus do not have a TV have profound, deepset issues. That is not zen. That is just wrong. Not having a TV puts you dangerously into the zone of being the kind of person that swirls eggs around on the floor to check their balance (as seen not just in Clerks, but by the creepy guy in the Waitrose egg aisle a week ago that freaked me out).
I remember some crap Stallone/Bullock film (I could look it up but I can’t be assed. Oh wait – it was called Demolition Man. I can be assed!) in which it was the future and the radio station only played ads from the 1970’s and 80’s. That’s my kind of radio, man. I’m all about jingles.
I talked to Alastair about this and he has memories of the changing BBC clock, and both of us remember the end of the day of TV – the national anthem would play (different anthems in his country and mine). Then the test pattern would come in, then a screen full ‘o Poltergeist loving snow. I dug through the web and found this video of UK ads from the 80’s – dude. Their hair was just as bad as the Americans’ were.
I posted this on my Facebook and wasn’t let down by folk. I put the Band-Aid jingle on and was rewarded with the greats, including:
The Peanut Gallery all contributed (I’m not sure if some of the folk on FB want to be mentioned here or not, so I’m opting for the safe option and letting them remain anonymous). Some of the beauties were:
My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R?
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame bun….
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.
The thing about a bon-bon it’s almost always gone gone. Bon-bons are bite sized. Bon-bons the right size!
What would do-o-o for a Klondike bar?
I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid….
I’d like to teach the world to sing. . .
Ya know what I mean, Vern?
I shoulda had a V8!
Ancient Chinese Secret!
When you say Bud, you’ve said it all!
Mr. Turtle, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? *crunch* The world may never know.
The killer was: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
That one had me at hello.
Help me out here. What other ads or jingles am I missing from our childhood? I need a pick me up, so a little help here.
And until then, I leave you with:
I am stuck on Band-Aid brand ’cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me…
-S.
PS-due to my going off the rails The Secret Scripture questions got delayed. I am definitely posting them by next Friday. I know the book club is two weeks late and several people likely want to smack me, and me and my sanity apologize profusely.
Dear Shannon (and it feels strange calling you that now, and hi! Nice to meet you), first of all, thanks for the glorious jingle cacophony raging in my head right now. In retaliation, I will just say “I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream!”
I just got caught up yesterday, and congratulate you on your successful site transfer — that must have been a huge project. Paging through from one post to the next, though, I noticed (waaaaay late) that the forward arrow actually takes you backwards, so suddenly not only did everything seem increasingly familiar, but the babies were actually regressing from walking to not standing unsupported. Just wanted to let you know, in case anyone else is as clueless as I am.
I’m sorry things are so difficult right now, and I hope your therapist (who sounds wonderful) can help you find solid ground again. And the Lemonheads are adorable.
Tony the tiger… There grrrrrrrreaaaaat!
Oh crap, just went out of my head, the Mikey one. Mikey likes everything one lol.
where’s the beef!
Delurking for this, though I’m not sure you’d call some of them jingles:
Where’s the beef? (Wendy’s)
Sorry, Charlie (from Starkist Tuna)
Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar!
The world looks mighty good to me. Tootsie Rolls are all I see. Whatever it is that I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me!
“That’sa spicy meatball!” – Alka Seltzer
“Oh I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener
That is what I truly wish to be
Because if I was an Oscar Mayer wiener
Everyone would be in love with me”
Freaking wonderful I have a parade of jingles running through my head. Pfft thanks for that! =)
And I loved Demolition Man. “Oh he doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells.” Heh
Many thanks for all the earworms you left crawling through my head. One of these days, I’ll make you sorry. Insipid songs from the 70’s, anyone? ;)
A friend of mine recently reminded me of the kool-aid man bursting through walls and saying “Oh yeah!” in a voice you just can’t convey with typing. So now every time someone says “oh yeah” I get a mental image of the kool-aid man.
My buddy, my buddy, my buddy & me. A friend had me laughing for 20 minutes when she replaced the “and” with “ate”.
You can totally guess people’s ages by the commercials and Saturday cartoons. Even worse than commercials – “Conjunction junction, what’s your function?” “We the people, . . in order to form a more perfect union. . .” One person our age couldn’t sing the Schoolhouse Rock jingles. We’re now pretty sure he’s an alien.
“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never let you forget you’re a man, cause I’m a Woman W-O-M-A-N . . I’ll say it again. . .
Or
“Calgon, take me away!”
I know that this one will only really be for Aussies, but still: for people of my generation, probably the banana song, make those bodies sing will be a recurring one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J03R_62la4g. And of course the vegemite song, which hasn’t changed in so long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pvo5oZWdQM In fact, the spontaneous audience participation on this gameshow shows how key that silly jingle is to Australian identity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3MLY135xoU&feature=related
Hah. Two of those are mine already, but I have LOADS of them stored up in this pea sized brain:
*Time to make the donuts
*I can’t believe I ate the whole thing
*Reeeaaaaaal men of genius…
And now back tour regular programming. . .
(PS-In the same vein as the end of day sign-off, do you remember how they used to promote that the upcoming show was “In color!”?)
Sorry, you can’t get to me. I’ve got it even worse – I’ve had a LOCAL old jingle stuck in my head for a week. By local I mean where I grew up so no one around me now can even share my pain.
B. Levy Shoes
B. Levy Shoes
They’re the best shoes in the land
B. Levy shoes
B. Levy shoes
I don’t know the rest. I don’t even know if what I think I remember is right but the tune in unforgettable.
Did I mention it was a quartet of men singing to banjo music??
One of my national old favorites:
I feel like Chicken Tonight, Chicken Tonight, Chicken Tonight
They haven’t even made that here in about a decade but I still get that song in my head every couple of months.
Libby Libby Libby on the label label label means yummy yummy yummy on the table table table.
Calgon, take me away!
Once upon a time there was an engineer. Choo Choo Charlie was his name we hear. He had a little engine and he sure had fun. He used Good n Plenty candies to make his train run. Charlie says, Love my Good N Plenty. Charlie says, Really rings a bell (ding ding). Charlie says, Love my Good n Plenty, don’t know any other candy that I love so well.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1, 2, 3 *chomp*. It takes 3 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
And this isn’t a jingle but it is the beginning of a couple of cartoons that constantly get stuck in my head..
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones a modern prehistoric family..
And
Jane help! Get me off this crazy thing!
“Borden Ice Cream is better than anything, better than anything in the world! Better on an ice cream cone, better simply left alone, better on a finger bone!” (argh)
“It’s not butter. . .it’s PARKAY.”
“And then she told two friends, and she told two friends. . .” Wella Balsam Wheat and Honey Shampoo, I think. Not exactly jingles but they stick with a girl.
I hope you feel better soon. You’re awesome.
“Munchichi, Munchichi, so soft and cuddly!”
(http://www.inthe80s.com/toys/munchichis0.shtml)
P.S. Loved the Clerks referance, my fave movie :0)
I didn’t see this one already,
“Give me a light.” (Gets handed a torch, a candle, a spotlight, or something else absurd for a bar-setting)
“A Bud Light.”
The guy who did the 2 all beef patties special sauce etc commercial died just the other day, his wife has a blog.
Pillsbury microwave brownies. “Lovin’ from the oven— Pillsbury! So good and hot! Beep! Beep! Pop! Pop!”
Or something like that. I’ve got the tune but not all the words.
Ugh. Make it stop!!!!!
“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” – Lifecall
“It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.” = Chiffon margarine
“O’Cedar makes your life easier.” (Followed by Mom saying, “Charlie…!”) – O’Cedar mop
“Don’t squeeze the Charmin!” – Mr. Whipple
“Thank you Easter Bunny! *bawk bawk*” – Cadbury Eggs
“I have a sunburn and I feel like a fwench fwy.” – Solarcaine, I think.
“Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!”
Hahaha! There are millions of them.
The touch, the feel of cotton… the faaabric of our liiives.
This is why I love you so-you understand the importance of television. Not having a TV is just wrong. Wrong.
I still like to grab the neck of people’s shirts and chant “Ring around the collar!” for no apparent reason. I can be really annoying when I want to be. You understand, don’t you?
I’m a Pepper, he’s a Pepper, she’s a Pepper, were a Pepper wouldn’t ya like to be a Pepper too. Be a Pepper drink Dr. Pepper.
Hot Dogs. Armour Hot Dogs. What kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs? Fat kids, skinny kids, kids (blah blah blah blah–can’t remember exactly), even kids with chicken pox love hot dogs, Armour hot dogs. The dogs kids love to bite!
Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.
yes, yes they have been popping into my head all day now, thank you.
Ahh.. make it stop!! (Good memories though)
Re: the book club.. thank god its rescheduled.. I am only on Chapter 5, got side tracked too..
I’m a Chiquita Banana
Rice-A-Roni,it a San Francisco Treat!
this one might be local to here, but My sister and I still sing “Merry Christmas, from Payless. Merry Chriiiiiistmaaaaaaas!”
And my whole classroom can sing the Free Credit Report.com jingles (we have, just for fun)
“So I’m sending you this Hallmark
and I hope that you will see
What I’m really sending you
Is a part of me”
“The great part of waking up
Is Folger’s in your cup”
“Have a Coke and a smile
Makes you feel goooood
Makes you feel great
That’s the way it should be and I’d like to see
the whole world smiling with me
Coca-Cola adds life
Have a Coke and a smile”
“GE we bring good things to life!” (although, ugh NOT … we’ve had the worst luck with GE appliances)
tastes great, less filling!
“Fill it to the rim… with Brim!”
This is the post I’ve been waiting for. The one that proves we are truly one mind.
“Here’s our jingle for Goldfish. We wrote a song for Goldfish. The wholesome snack that smiles back, until you bite their heads off! Did you know they’re made with real cheese, even though they look like fishies. The snack that smiles back Goldfish!”
“Time to make the doughnuts…”
And of course, who can forget…”1016789…you can call me up and have a talk…any old time!”
Part of my childhood is inextricably linked to Bell Atlantic/New England Telephone commercials, which of course, not one of my friends remembers, but make me cry just for the sake of it. Same with the Buy the World a Coke commercials.
I think I’ve just made it real clear where I’m from, how old I am, and what I was doing between the ages of five and twenty. But really, there’s nothing more rewarding than sitting around with friends and spontaneously breaking out into the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song, is there?
Oh fun! I thought I’d de-lurk to add my two cents! Thanks for a great blog! I love the new digs!
Kool-aid wipes out thirst for you….oh yeah a, crash a bang a booma….with a big bright smile and a fun taste too, oh yeah!
Hey Mikey, he likes it!
How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S…Rolaids spells relief!
Honeycombs big, yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s not small, no, no, no, Honeycombs got a big big bite, big big taste and a big big bite.
Ho, ho ho…green giant!
Thanks for the memories!
delurking only to say that everytime I see a Toyota, I still want to jump in the air and sing “Oh what a feeling Toy-O-TA!!!!”
Love Demolition man too… In the future all restaurants are Taco Bell!
I CAN’T believe it’s not BUTTER! (said in our very best American accent)
I’m a pepper, you’re a pepper, he’s a pepper, she’s a pepper .. wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too?
Or
McEwans is the best buy the best buy the best buy, McEwans is the best buy – the best buy in beer.
OI! McEwans! The best buy in beer!
slinky, slinky, oh it’s a wonderful toy, it’s fun for girls and for boys!
I knew I shouldn’t have read the comments, I was safe until then because you and I don’t have a shared TV history. I just had to read Paula and “I feel like chicken tonight” didn’t I? Thanks for that Paula.
One bottle of wine is not enough to survive Eurovision…..
Well, it’s not a jingle, but it’s one commercial that brings the warm and fuzzies.
“Peter, YOU’RE HOME!” The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup.
And for anyone that’s lived in Southern California at any point in the last 30 years or so.
Go see Cal, Go See Cal, Go See Cal. Cal Worthington and his dog, Spot. (Cue in picture of Cal and a giraffe, or elephant or Llama, basically anything but a dog).
Way back in the 70s: “Canada Dry is love”–which was written by Barry Manilow, so at least I know who to blame!
Damn you.
Damn you to hell!
The one that I remember best and seems to bugger the Europeans most: “give me a break, break me off a piece of that KIT KAT BAR!” :)
You’ll wonder where the yellow went whne you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.
Must have been the power of suggestion…I woke up 3AM Saturday with the jingle to the new Hillshire Farms smoked sausage ad screaming in my head. Of course, I decided to share the agony and kept my husband from dozing off by yelling GO MEAT! at him. :)
So I immediately went to the My Buddy ads, because hey, wherever I go, heeeeee goes, and don’t we all want a stalker doll as kids? But as I, the total commercial junkie, roll through the incredible number of ads in my head, I have two that come into my head on a regular basis.
… at Lenny’s!
Denny’s.
And, the most useless thing ever, the entire McDonald’s menu song. Not the two all beef patties one, but the one where the guy walks up and sings the menu as his order. Big Mac, McDLT, A Quarter Pounder with some cheese… I’ll spare you the rest. Oh, and one more McD’s one, the one with the little girl at her piano recital “and now my recital’s almost done, it wasn’t bad, I’m still alive, and now I can have a chocolate shake, a cheeseburger, and also whoops and also fries.”
I wonder what things I could remember if I didn’t have this pointless crap stored in my head…
re “Go See Cal,” I remember that from Sacramento area. You mean he had a wider distribution?
(We also thought it was “pussy-cow” for many years, which was hilarious to us kids.)
Sol! Lid! Gold!
Comedy gold, I tell you. Wassup w/ all the lyrca?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeJIUjb2dNw&feature=related