Everydaystranger

The last week has been hell – solid feeding extravaganzas, using new teats so that it’s not so much a bottle feeding as it’s a controlled drowning, more laundry than I could have contemplated (all of it stained orange) and many tears, most of them from me.
One week on and the babies are now happily [...]

Melissa and Jeff are still here, and will be until Saturday. Since Melissa’s discovered MSN IM with practically everyone under the age of 16 (and the noise of each and every one of them logging in is going to send me round the bend) and Jeff has discovered Civilization IV, computer time for Angus [...]

Dear Gordon Brown,
It was with great sadness and, frankly, annoyance that I read about your latest idea to try to stop the influx of what can only be described as the scourage of society – the immigrant. You have plans to change immigration laws for anyone outside of the European Economic Area. While [...]

To my little boy,
Two days ago you had shots (ouch) and a weigh-in (oooh, you’re nekkid!) and we got the bad news that the unhappiness you’ve had over solid foods has been for nothing.
You should know, as I hold your prawn-like body when you curl into me, that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for [...]

This morning, feeling pretty stressed, depressed and panicky, I went to the grocery store by myself, while the babies snoozed on the beanbag and Angus’ worked from the study.
As I drove – and despite being nearly killed by a Waitrose driver who felt (rightly so) that his giant truck could take out my little Toyota [...]

One year ago today, a second pink line showed up.

Right now, upstairs, my son and my daughter are sucking their thumbs, fast asleep.
Fairy tales can come true*.
-H.
*And if it’s what you’re looking for, I hope it can happen to you.

Last night we watched a special on how to live life into your 100’s. It was a bit of an eye opener, especially for someone like me who once swore she’d never make it to 30 (and I nearly didn’t, but hey – we all fuck up our expectations from time to time).
My family [...]

I don’t like talking about money, money makes me stress out badly, money reminds me of heated arguments. Money may make the world go round, but is also funds the divorce lawyers. I’ve mentioned a few times that as of March we’re under serious belt-tightening, and the two largest reasons for that are [...]

Angus and I and two slightly grumpy babies turned up at the swimming pool at the local council Leisure Centre on Friday morning. We were packed to the gills with anything and everything we thought we might need, and we were both wearing our swimsuits under our clothes.
My suit was chafing horribly because as [...]

The health visitor came, she saw, and she conquered.
Or something like that.
Both of my peewee babies continue their downward slide down the percentiles – they’re gaining weight but not nearly enough weight. As Nick is about to head out of the 0.4 percentile into No Man’s Land, something had to be done. The [...]

On Tuesday the babies and I decided to go to the shop to buy the ingredients to make Statia’s Lobsta Bisque for Angus’ Valentine’s Day dinner. Lobster isn’t easy to come by, and I thought the bisque, served with some crusty bread and far too much alcohol, would be popular. So after the [...]

I had another post lined up this morning that was more upbeat (it involves lobsters! Lobsters! And what’s not funny about crustaceans?) but then I had to call the nursery* to arrange a “settling in” date for the twins to go and meet the staff, their own personal carer (it’s the law here [...]

I haven’t been sleeping so well – the medication is supposed to be fixing that, but it’s not! It’s not I say!
*shakes fist angrily at pharmaceutical gods*
I still battle with anxiety, which now is coming through loud and clear in my dreams. Because sleep isn’t fraught enough, I guess. The other night [...]

On Wednesday I went to have my pap smear, done every three years here. The clock ran out, the legs had to be spread, the waddle (aka “hey that’s an awful lot of lubricant you had to use there, did you expect I’d be as chafing as sandpaper?”) to the tissues would be done.
In [...]

Dear Pond,
Fuck you.
I win.

-H.

For those unfamiliar with it, a round of IVF (called a protocol) generally works thus (and this is the easy version, I don’t do the technical side of it):
1 – You are put into a state of menopause using a nasal spray (a few times a day) or injections (one a day) administered in the [...]

IVF is hard.
Spiritually, logistically, emotionally, physically, financially.
They never tell you that when you get through a cycle successfully, you’ll be on your own. You spend so much energy hoping and wishing and begging various deities to make it work that when it does you don’t know up from down, left from right. You [...]

Citalopram.
I needed help.
-H.